Day 2 - rock n roll!

Therapist says my homework is to call the doctor and get my medication increased and also to do an exercise where I write down all of my negative/anxious thoughts and for every one of those thoughts I need to write "the truth". Interesting considering that just a few days ago I forced myself to go through a similar exercise when I getting all wound up about going to pick up groceries on my own. Instead I chose to think that I am grateful that I am able to feed my family. Better way to look at it right? I need to remember to keep perspective while all of this stuff is going on. There is a lot of suffering and struggling going on as far as resources, a lot of people of out work. I am so thankful that T has a really good job, all of our needs are met and we are in a good place. I was also upset that he had to go into work early on Saturday because we usually have Saturday morning together as a family. So instead of griping about him having to go in early I told myself that I was grateful to have a hardworking husband that has a great job. Which is totally true. It's all about me shifting my mindset. Something that I have struggled with over the years. It's funny you think that having a victim mindset is easy, its hard to think about the positive, which if I'm being honest, when you're in a deep dark pit and it feels like you're nowhere near getting out, sometimes you don't have the energy to even try. And you know what - maybe it's not easy. Clearly not because it's taken me years and years to get here. What I do know is that having a victim mentality is exhausting, totally draining. And when you've been in it so long it feels like you may never be able to change your ways. It takes work, serious work. And you need support. I'm grateful to have family and friends that care. I'm getting so sappy and worked up but it's true and real.

Oldest is in distance learning. So we're in the house on the computer most of the day but the crazy winds brought the temperature down about 30 degrees and we were able to take a little walk on his lunch break - it was great, fresh air and sunshine...